Taming the Beast

We had collapsed and were now sprawled across the cold hardwood floor that was in my room. The mysterious and disgusting thing we had just faced was a most wild beast. The angry creature was my unimaginable, unpredictable, terribly treacherous closet.

Earlier that day my mom had forced me into attempting to tame the beast. In other words, she was sick of not being able to borrow my clothes and wanted it clean by the end of the day. I pulled my silky black curls back in a ponytail and found a mask to cover myself so I would be prepared before entering into the large mess. I urged myself to stumble toward the door and quickly tug it open. IN that instant I was covered and smothered under pounds of useless junk that had piled up over the past three years. This called for desperate measures. I called in the master of organization, my little brother.

Although Tommy was only seven, he has always been a perfectionist. It started during his potty training when he stacked the toilet paper rolls neatly in the corner of the bathroom. I went and knocked on his door, which was halfway down the hall. “Come in if you must” was his response from behind the solid door. I crept inside and the door squeaked closed behind me.

“Sir, I need your assistance.” I mocked the way he thought he was so powerful.

“And what would you like my assistance with?” He spun around in his mini-office chair scratching his little chin.

“Look short stuff! I have a really messy closet! You know how bad it gets! You’re really organized and I just thought…” I paused as he finished my sentence.

“…that I could help you!” he laughed his evil minion laugh then glared at me. “I think we can make this happen but it will cost you.” By the end of the conversation and negotiating he decided I would have to do his laundry for a week and pay him $30.00. I was okay with it, as long as he could settle the creature in my room by the end of the day.

Later, we stared into the deep piles of mostly clothes and unnecessary items. This included bananas, shampoo bottles, burned out glow sticks, a watermelon, five boxes of waffles, about 12 rolls of multi-colored duct tape, a giant stuffed camel, all our old home movies and Disney movies, a giant poster of a pig kissing a sheep and many other random items. Snapping on his miniature rubber gloves and tightening his face mask, Tommy got to work. He threw things around so fast I hardly knew where he was under the large mess. But after two hours of watching him run around and separate things into groups, he finally gave me a job. “Take that pile down to the trash and that one to Mom and Dad’s room. Sort through that pile and wash that pile of dirty socks. You might want to run them through twice. They are really gross.” He scrunched his face up at me and plugged his nose as he plunged into a nearby heap of attire.

Three hours later I was done with my tasks and sat rolling my eyes watching my little brother shake his butt as he sang and vacuumed my entire room. We accomplished folding all my clothes and Tommy was hanging things up in the precise closet as he dusted. He had been in there for a while and I was beginning to think the last of the little creature had eaten him up. So he came out though. His hair tousled he dismantled and crumpled to the floor where I already lay. We did it. We finally undertook the thing living in my room for three years. The monster had been beaten…although I do still find a banana peel here and there wallowing around in my unimaginable, unpredictable, terribly treacherous closet.

Grandma's Cheeks

NOTICE: the story below does not depict a real event ;)

“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!” Mom started to sing loudly as we drove to Grandma’s house for Christmas dinner. Turning on the radio, Dad rolled his eyes. He hated when she sang. Of all the talents she had, singing was not one of them. My sister and I laughed. Mom just started singing louder and Dad turned up the radio even more. This went on until we got to Grandma’s. We thought it was going to be such a fun day. Little did I know, I would be scarred for life.

Dad, Caroline and I all got out of the car giggling, Mom still humming as we walked up the drive way. Grandma and all the cousins sat waving through the screen door. Walking inside, we were bombarded by all the people waiting for hugs. I hugged Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Donna, Uncle John, Aunt Susan, Uncle Dan, Ashley, Joe, Lauren, Emily, Abby, and Aunt Kathy. Apparently we were late because everyone immediately hustled to their seats ready to pray.

“Hold on! We aren’t ready yet! I still have to get out the cranberries!” Grandma said waving her hands in the air, shooing everyone out.

“I’ll help,” I said stepping in and grabbing the freshly opened can of cranberries.

“Thank you sweetie, I’ll get a spoon to help you get that out of there.” she patted my shoulder.

Shaking the can, I was frustrated. It wouldn’t come out! I shook harder and harder trying to aim the jiggly cranberries in to the bowl. I had started a shaking frenzy. Suddenly, the maroon goop shot out with a squish, landing in Grandma’s chair, just as she sat down with the spoon. All you heard was a deep sloshing sound as Grandma’s face also sloshed and her eyes tightened.

Embarrassed and mad, she ran upstairs. I ran after her watching all heads in the living room turn from the TV to me. Mouths dropped, eyebrows rose, and everyone started mumbling questions in confusion. Hurriedly, I headed for her room, not thinking the first thing she would do was change. I pushed the door open and then abruptly covered my eyes, turned around, and ran into the hall wall. I had just gotten a perfect view of the wrinkly, seventy six year old, bottom that belonged to Grandma.

A few minutes later Grandma came downstairs. I had cleaned of the seat and told everyone the cranberries had gone bad. We sat down, prayed, and everyone began to chow down except for me. I felt a little nauseous.

Ever sense then, I have been haunted by remembering the view I got that one Christmas day.

Backwards

Where are we? What’s going on? What was that noise? ... so many questions with no one to answer. I was left alone, helpless, trapped in a dark world of shadows. Why can’t I get out? ...the one question that would never be answered, because no one knew. The backwards mask hiding everything and everyone from me had been placed in front of my eyes without my consent. Who would want this?

It happened 10 years ago. Driving innocently down the old dirt path in the rusty, worn Ford truck, sat me and Grandpa. As we continued our Sunday drive, the trees began to cover us overhead, blocking out almost all sunlight. We let the road lead our travel. Grandpa in the driver’s seat, me riding shotgun, we were happy. Adventures always led us to golden treasures and we couldn’t wait to see our next happy ending.

I especially loved our adventures because of all the beautiful things that surrounded us. Engrossed in the spectacular particles of life, I couldn’t help but unleash a gaping smile. Out of no where, something disturbed the nature. In front of us sat a man made railroad track, like a stack of paper replacing a tree. But something was strange. There were no signs or crossing arms and in the faint distance I heard the piercing shriek of the train whistle. Grandpa didn’t.

The rest is a blur. Our adventure had taken a wrong turn and the treasure chest we had envisioned was empty and broken. Crashing trees, cries, shrieks, explosions, all welled up around us. The last thing I remember, my face was covered in shards of glass as I broke through the cracked windshield and landed in the mud.

I awoke from the coma 4 months later, but nothing was the same. Opening my eyes, I immediately knew something was wrong. I reached fro my face thinking there must be something there. A blanket? A bandage? A mask? No. The backwards mask had been set in place when the musty glass met my eyes. The world had disappeared and I was left to listen to the life around me.

Breaking

Tap…tap…tap…snag...rip! Hanging on, barely there. It is as if the smallest breeze could pull me from my home. My frail structure suddenly dangling from the end of her fingertip. Why me? Why not one of the others? Fear began to run through my limp curves and I wondered if I could survive…but that was only the beginning.

Scratching, Biting, itching, tapping, were once normal things that now threatened my life and she didn’t notice. As she reached for her arm, I knew it was coming and cowardly crunched myself up against the nail I once filled. Nothing could help. She lingered through the halls, scratching her dry, winter skin, never noticing me as I cracked slowly. Crunch…crunch…crunch…crumple. Falling, floating, my dreams are shattered. Mournfully, my last connections are lost and I lay still on the cold, dirt encrusted ground. Nearby, a piece of gum is imprinted with a foot print and ants roam around it. A crinkled piece of homework flutters toward me, every other second covering me from the artificial lights above. I am hidden, not important, just a fingernail.

Journey

Petite, innocent hands reach to turn the faucet on. We are released, falling freely. Just droplets of water, but on the path to somewhere. Filling the trays, we gleam in the reflected sunlight splashing in from the window above the sink. I am suddenly stuck in one of the many plastic cubes. Tense, I feel squished from all directions but I can still feel the sunlight waterfall of light and warmth from above. My fellow water pebbles and I sit swaying, creating ripples in our clear form. We sit and wait, anxious and scared of where these hands will lead us.
Lifting and strong, the hands begin our travel. I feel light and free but commence to sway in waves away from the edged of the ice cube tray. The thought of falling over board is not appealing to any of us. Some are unlucky as they slip and I can hear their sharp, screeching splashes. A safe feeling runs through me as we reach our destination, the freezer. Being placed on the rack, I can feel the roughness beneath us. I watch the fresh meet, Eggo waffles, and ice cream slide by and we stop against the back wall right next to a bag of frozen chicken nuggets. The safe feeling I had before, soon fades as the door closes. My light body shakes from the doors force and I shiver. Dark, and foggy, this new home is not a happy one. We are left to rest.
Awoken by a cracking sound, I am frightened. My form has changed and I feel stiff from a hard nights sleep. I can see my friends, once watery drips, are cubes, falling into small glasses. We are frozen. I am next and feel the familiar hands slide over me while they twist and turn the tray. Suddenly, I am free, but something is wrong. Flipping and swooshing, flying through the air, my world passes by. No one is there to catch me, not even the soft hands I once trusted. I land on the floor, a selfless ice cube, frozen in a life I didn’t want. Soon I find myself being tossed in the familiar sink, slowly melting down the musty, cold pipes. A journey to no where.

Survival Guide to Texting

You might text your friends, best friends, old friends, friend’s family, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, parents, siblings, parent’s friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, or any other person you know. Well, this is the guide to survive all those embarrassing, confusing, awkward, and even frustrating text message conversations.

1. “This Forward died 7 days ago… if you don’t forward this to 10 people it will come to your bed side and kill you tonight...” Otherwise known as Forwards

• You’re sitting in your room watching a movie when suddenly your phone bursts out ringing on your bed. You open it quick but immediately close it because you could care less about that forward. You get back into your movie when again you hear the ringtone. Same person, different forward. You try to ignore it and go back to the movie. It gets to the really good part and you are so into it when once again you hear that sound. And, guess what? Same person, different forward.

• If you’re like me and don’t care for forwards, just nicely say to everyone who forwards things to you “I don’t do forwards. Sorry! Can you stop sending them to me?” If the person keeps it up just keep telling them and try to sound a little more irritated every time but not too mad because you don’t want to lose your friend.

• If you do like forwards choose wisely and only send a few. You don’t want to be known as the person who sends every forward they get. I also suggest only sending the forwards that threaten you if you are very superstitious because in my opinion they are all fake and made by 7 year olds who just want to see how many people they can scare or get to forward their message.

2. “OMG SRSLY LMHO, LMBO, LSHMBH! KNIM? YSYD! LYLAS TTYL…” Otherwise known as Abbreviations.

• You just got your first cellphone and have no clue what its like to text. The first message you ever get from your best friend says “omgyg2bk! xlnt! ywhol! Lol!” You got this message 2 hours ago and still haven’t texted back because you are completely stumped. I suggest you look it up! On the internet there are tons websites about texting. How do you think I got all of those for the topic title and the message from the friend? Btw (by the way) the message from the friend really says “O my god you got to be kidding! Excellent! Yelling WooHoo out loud! Laugh out loud!” and the topic title says “O my god seriously laughing my head off, laughing my butt off, laughing so hard my belly hurts! Know what I mean? Yeah sure you do! Love ya like a sister talk to you later…” Here’s another point! You could just be a person like me who abbreviates hardly anything unless needed but you still have to have a good sense of what everything means and could abbreviate if you really wanted to. Another way to avoid confusion or pretending you understand when you don’t is to just ask your friend what they meant in their weird text message. If they are a true friend they will not make fun of you and will totally understand.

3. “OMG I can’t believe you said that!:(” … “What? I was being sarcastic couldn’t you tell?” … “I don’t believe you!” … otherwise known as the misunderstanding that started the Text Fight

• You’re talking to a friend when she freaks out and starts saying things in all caps like “HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT???” or “STOP! THAT’S NOT TRUE!” This happens to a lot of people for this misunderstanding of sarcasm. If you are bad at noticing sarcasm in real life conversations you almost definitely won’t while texting. Plus, if you haven’t noticed, you change the tone of your voice to be sarcastic so that would be why sarcasm doesn’t really work while texting. I suggest just avoiding it at all costs!

• Other reasons for fights is if you avoid someone’s text messages or you suddenly stop texting them. Just tell the person what happened but if you have no reason your in trouble. If it’s that big of a deal and you absolutely have to stop texting them just say “gtg bye”. It takes less than 5 seconds to text that for most people and it’s worth it to avoid a fight like that.

• If you really need to talk to someone for an important conversation, call them! It’s easier to explain confusing things like fights over the phone or in person. Not texting! Seriously. Trust me. That just leads to way more drama.

4. Avoiding the “K” “yeah” or “mhmm” in your texts. Otherwise known as Loss of Conversation

• Your just sitting and texting your friend. You just sent them a long message explaining that you had a really bad day and everything that happened in it. You get the reply “K”. Yes, it’s frustrating. In fact it’s very frustrating. You can’t really make them change their ways but to try and boost the conversation just add a question in there. An important one that would require a long message possibly leading to a new topic.

Hint: If you get stuck in a texting situation because of one of your friends or anything of the sort don’t do it back. Not even to show them what it feels like. Just ask them to stop.
Hint2: Don’t text while Driving!

THX 4 RDING!

"BTW! This is an assignment for class that isn't due yet so I have a little bit of time before I turn it in. Please comment with editing suggestions or helpful thoughts! :)"

A Cone Full of Gummy Bears

After buying a wedding present one Saturday at Target, Mommy and I decided to head to a buffet in our home town that was really close by. We went in thinking how perfect of an idea we had had. We left not exactly with the same thought…

We started with salad, fruit, and other healthyish food. The fruit was okay. It had an odd after taste…like cinnamon or maybe a little sour. Well then there was the salad. It wasn’t bad it was just salad. Nothing special. The crab pasta salad stuff was really good. But as we sat there eating it we decided we could make it ourselves with the crab we get at Kroger that is amazingly good! So there was another not exactly good thing about the restaurant. We moved on and everything was just okay. Ya know? Like you didn’t hate it but it was just good enough to fill you up?. Oh and the Chinese sweet and sour chicken was really good!

Then we moved on to dessert. This routine is always the same for me. I go look at everything they have. Take one of each thing that looks decent and try it. This consisted of Cherry pie with vanilla ice cream on top, banana pudding with vanilla wafers in it , and chocolate pudding. The cherry pie was okay, the banana pudding was okay, and the chocolate pudding wasn’t very good (which was very surprising considering that I love all chocolate pudding usually). I decided to just get a simple chocolate sundae. The machine started out just spitting out a little bit of ice cream. Suddenly so much chocolate ice cream shot out of that machine that it went over the edge and covered my hand. I still continued to add hot fudge and all other toppings. I got to the table and Mommy was cracking up at me. I couldn’t blame her, I was laughing too. I looked down and all of the toppings had rolled over the edge and onto the table. Greeeeat! I was so mad and picked up my new spoon and prayed that at least the taste of the ice cream would be worth it…It wasn’t! It was sour and like it had little grains of sand in it! Really? I go through all that trouble to get bad ice cream?! Humph! 

We were ready to go and I thought an ice cream cone sounded good (Just a plain ice cream cone). I went and got one out of the nifty little dispenser. Then I saw the gummy bears and I thought to myself “Why not?” So in went the gummy bears. I get back to the table and can you guess what happens next? Think of that medicine you had when you were a little kid that you just could not stand. That was the taste of the gummy bears. So they went out. Don’t worry the cone was great! Haha